Mission Statement
Mothers Day March in Washington DC, May 8, 2011
Kansas Legislation; Marriage is the answer to childhood poverty, Require victims of domestic violence to be counseled on abstinence and suggest returning to their abuser to promote “two-parent families”. oh and…Files Egg-As-Person Legislation
Brownback, The Wolf in Sheep's Clothing, Attacks Single Mothers and the Poor
by Kari Ann Rinker, National Organization for Women (NOW), Kansas
January 30, 2012 -
Tags: Race and Class | Race and Class | State elections | Tea Party |child poverty | Governor Sam Brownback | Kansas | poverty | single motherhood | Analysis
Kansas is a state with a history of moderate representation. The fanatics that our state is currently known for remain more numerous than any of us would prefer, but this is a state that has had its fair share of moderate Republican and Democratic governors.
But in 2010 the majority of Kansans chose to elect the righteously conservative Senator Sam Brownback as the 46th Governor of Kansas. Kansas residents who care about equality and reproductive justice were fully aware of the Senator’s voting record and his past statements on gay rights and abortion rights. We knew his election would have devastating repercussions in these areas, and fears have certainly been borne out with each signature on all five pieces of duly fanatical anti-choice legislation that has passed over his new desk.
Senator Brownback’s gubernatorial win was largely due to the tide of Tea Party mentality and action within the state, much like what was seen throughout the rest of the nation. Throughout his career, his fanaticism has always been on display. He has always worn it like a right wing badge of honor. He never bothered to hide it or conceal it. Until his campaign for Governor, which is when he was savvy enough to distance himself from his past fanaticism, spoke in amazing generalities and avoided making the inflammatory statements that he had been known for in the past.
It was during this campaign that Sam Brownback donned his sheep’s clothing. He has put that clothing to very good use over the first year of his term as Kansas Governor. He has worn this clothing each and every day. As he begins his second year as Governor of Kansas, practicality remains his fashion motto.
If you are a wolf poised to prey upon the poor and underprivileged citizens of your state, practicality dictates that you don’t come right out and say:
“I’m going to force women into motherhood and marriage, take food stamps away from children, drastically reduce early childhood programs, take away tax credits that help working families, thus enabling a significant tax cut to my privileged constituents.”
No, practicality dictates that the Governor continue to wear his sheep suit and say things like, “Reducing childhood poverty is a cornerstone during my term as Governor” and “the greatness of a society can be measured by the compassion it shows to its least fortunate.”
Then, you can hold town halls that present marriage as the answer to childhood poverty, tacitly approve of contracts that require victims of domestic violence to be counseled on abstinence and suggest returning to their abuser to promote “two-parent families” and willfully ignore policy that take food stamps from citizen children of undocumented parents.
Then in your spare time, you can present a budget that strips $16 million dollars from Children’s Initiative Funds that support programs like Early Head Start and a tax plan that would eliminate the Earned Income Tax Credit for those making less than $25,000 a year and remove the child care tax credit, which ultimately enables you to provide a tax break of $5,200 to those making over $250,000.
This tax policy has been given the thumbs up by Brownback’s hired budget consultant, Arthur Laffer. Mr. Laffer is known for the “Laffer Curve” and as a “father of Reaganomics.” Laffer appeared before the Kansas Senate Tax Committee last week. During that proceeding, I was presented with a unique opportunity to challenge Mr. Laffer on Governor Brownback’s elimination of the Earned Income Tax Credit.
The elimination of this credit will have immediate effects upon single mothers who use the money received from this credit to repair their car, pay off the outstanding doctor bill or maybe even buy a new suit so that they might interview for a better job to provide for their children. Brownback’s office has accused these working moms of “fraud.”
The Lawrence Journal World quoted the Governor’s Budget Director, Steve Anderson as saying:
“We have no way of making sure, for example, that a single mother is spending that on needs for her children.”
“Fraud” is nothing more than the politically correct way to continue to disparage the single, working moms of Kansas. “Fraud” is nothing more than Governor Brownback desperately trying to cover himself with his last remaining scrap of his sheep costume. The disguise has finally worn thin, and he currently finds himself presenting his full on wolf-self to the citizens of Kansas.
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How Will Egg-as-Person Legislation Fare in Kansas?
Jan 19, 6:53am
How will a so-called personhood amendment fare in Kansas? We're going to find out. Kansans for Life is already publicly skeptical, saying they are "afraid of pushing the issue to the U.S. Supreme Court."
Kansas Group Files Egg-As-Person Legislation; Democrat Vince Wetta Signs as Co-Sponsor
Today, Personhood Kansas announced via press release that it has pre-filed a Personhood bill in the Kansas legislature. We can expect to see that bill officially filed next week.
Domestic Batterers Do Not Need Help! They NEED PUNISHED!! Jailed and Kept Away from their Victims!
Will this insanity ever end? Topeka decriminalizes domestic violence, Kansas City just followed suit yesterday.
I listen to the local police Scanner and am simply amazed at all the poor batterer Domestic Violence calls—Daddy refusing to give children back after visits, kidnapping when mom does it- his kids when he does it, he is just stressed, addiction etc, etc, etc..... -sigh-
Photo by Gordon Cheung:The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse
Women will never be free as long as they cannot leave an abuser a Violent Offender with her children, in fact - this is where they do the next best thing to killing her- they take her kids. With the Courts help. Stop treating this as a illness, a family thing it IS A CRIME!!!! We Do Not Need Safe Visit For Violent Offenders like 'Safe Visit' see prior post.
We do not need to treat them we need to punish them for crimes committed. Punish as you would assault cases. At least get rid of the DV clause -- or 'get out of jail free card'.
Domestic batterers find help in YWCA program Steve Halley leads small groups that provide help for domestic violence offenders through the Family Peace Initiative program, based at the Topeka YWCA, 225 SW 12th. By Phil Anderson Domestic violence is a widespread problem that often spirals out of ...
Kansas City Ends Domestic Violence Ordinance - Women on the Firing Line In October, the District Attorney of Shawnee County, which encompasses Topeka, Kansas, announced that he would cease to prosecute domestic violence cases within the city of Topeka. He argued that with recent budget cuts he no longer had sufficient resources and that the city should take on the burden of these prosecutions. The city council responded by repealing their ordinance against domestic violence!
Kansas has so much crap going on at the moment, Gov. Sam Brownback pushing couples counseling and ABSTINENCE? It would be hysterically funny to even think this -- if it weren't true, that this, IS what they are doing.
I mean C'mon.... “Hey you perp… stop raping and beating your wife'. Yeah, that will sure fix it.
State's proposed domestic violence contract widely criticized But the two sentences are still inappropriate in a proposed contract for domestic violence services, no matter the rationale, said state Sen. Laura Kelly, D-Topeka, ranking minority member of the Ways and Means Committee and the Public Health and ...
Fatherhood Initiatives being forced down everyone's throat, His motto: "Woman stay married period." Brownback-I-Stan? indeed.
From Reality Check: Brownback, The Wolf in Sheep's Clothing, Attacks Single Mothers...
“I’m going to force women into motherhood and marriage, Reduce Funding to SRS for mothers and Children and INCREASE Funding to SRS for Fatherhood Initiatives."That is by the way DADDY WELFARE!!
I Expect The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse To Ride In Soon.
U. S. Fatherhood Initiatives - Control of Women and Children Under the Guise of "Responsible Married Fatherhood"
Attention Judges and Lawmakers: This is the REAL AGENDA of the Father’s Rights Movement
Maternal Deprivation Inflicted on Battered Women and Abused Children
Senate Judiciary Chairman - Response to Proposed Changes to Child Custody Law
Hearing to Review Responsible Fatherhood Programs
The National Fatherhood Initiative: Supporting a Misogynistic Agenda
Topeka, KS: Safe Visit Looses United Way Funding, A Child trafficking, Batterer Friendly, Custody Switch Program. Fatherhood Initiatives Give Batterers Custody
Custody Switch - Safe Visit of Topeka, Kansas - The Scam, Court Ordered Abuse for profit-
Because of the Fathers Rights Initiatives. Mommies NOT needed. Just Access Visitation Programs.
It’s about time!!!! YEAH!!!! one less, so many more to go….
Safe Visit and the many other programs that have morphed in the past two decades Odyssey, TREC, Fathers Rights Topeka and all the many many other so called metal health supposed professionals—and simple ‘social workers’ -who found easy $$- e.g. Connie Sanchez, Jenny Shaw, Kara Haney, (just to name a very few) who ‘charge $’ to SUPERVISE a Mother’s Visits with HER own Children.
I had not finished this chapter in my “Leaving The War Zone” I find it very difficult to write about the horrific human rights crimes that Kansas committed, allowed, continues… to my daughter and I, all to turn a buck. But due to the recent article about Safe Visit and Connie Sanchez in Topeka Kansas, "United Way pulls funding on Safe Visit program"
I publish below what I have written thus far and WHY all these so called –do good- human experiment-Programs [may be profitable to ‘Hitler’ type persona’s-this HUMAN Experiment, social engineering Program FAILURE] for use to follow up on article about Save Visit Loosing their Funding. And HOPEFULLY, God please… Closing by February.....(Note in the article it states ‘max 30 one hour supervised visits.’)
Rikki and I were SUPERVISED there for over Decade - 15 YEARS. Incredible. Two lives completely destroyed ... the best they could come up with was a limit of 30 hours. If this had been the rule (or if it had never existed in the first place) in the many years of it's inception in 1995 and in 1996 when we were 1st Court Ordered to the 'human trafficking' and 'Take Battered Mothers Children and give to Abusers Program' aka Safe Visit. These people need to go down, them and all ACCESS VISITATION aka Custody Switch Programs for Batterers.
Perhaps..…....a mother and daughter would know each today if 30 hours was max......As is, the batterer Hal Richardson has maintained his bond of chains and imprisonment of my daughter, with the assistance from safe Visit and other anti mother, Abuser friendly individuals and businesses….there has been absolutely no contact in several years. Which is why I began writing or attempts to "Leaving The War Zone."
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Chapter Three – Safe Visit - The Custody Switch, The Scam, The Profit$
June 15th 2011 7:00 A.M.
Leaving The War Zone Chapter Three: The Custody Switch
It’s Wednesday, ‘hump day’. I am sitting outside this cool morning drinking my coffee, feeling the warmth on my legs listening to the world waking up- I am reminded of a time –many years ago when Rikki and I were still safe. In W. Kansas in our in Pawnee rock.
I would sit outside drinking my coffee in the early morning quiet. The weather cool- watering my awesome flowers that I had landscaped for several years.
Our home was beautiful. We had a small pool 12 ft for Rikki her friends and I. These were warm memory days. Days when I knew where my daughter was, days when hope floated with each beating of her heart. I would love to watch her sleep- she sleeps like I do- rough. She snores- like I do- and inherited maternal trait from my own dear mother.
Allergies tend to hit us with a storm, but we never let them effect the beauty and joy of each precious day we had. At this time in the late 90’s we had only 3 weeks together before the week long hell visits would begin for her.
The courts start in the custody switch. A game that is now known to many mothers- “The Custody Switch” mine came on snail mail by the Judge with out motion from either party, without hearing, the judge simple on his own issued his own 9 page order on July 31, 2000 that Rikki would be living with her father. And that if I foreclosed on our beautiful home and quit my well paying state job (dad never paid child support - I never needed it - I had been working for the state of Kansas as a psychiatric nurse for almost 13 years ) I was to quit my job, severe all contact with my home, Rikkis home, and relocate to Topeka Kansas (the courts knowing that do to my physical injuries inflicted by daddy dearest that I would not be able to work in Topeka—Larned state hospital had made concessions for my physical disabilities- and Topeka state hospital had closed in 1996- when I moved to Pawnee Rock).
That day, July 31, 2000 will always mark the day-:the music died’.- we had after 6 years of heavy litigation and after I had spent in upwards of over 1 million dollars—my child was gone. I was forced into unemployment, homelessness, and no health care—all for “the best interest of the child’. Makes no sense does it? Daddy promptly tried to get me back into the house by forcing me to have sex to even see Rikki—I did. Who wouldn't.
By December of that same year, the last time I saw Rikki with out armed guard—daddy had beaten Rikki so badly, I could not allow her suffering anymore -- I confronted him—only to find that once again as a good ‘co-parenting’ (as quoted by Harry Moore Case manger—‘it’s called co-parenting deal with it”) I had the hell beat out of me again. (this is co-parenting).
I then found myself brutally raped that same beating Dec 16th,2000 just two days after Rikki had been beaten, (she fell up the hill btw) her face swollen and tears in her eyes. God, Rikki I am so sorry, I am so sorry. I tried to protect her, I did the unthinkable. I reported it.
As all protective mothers are - I was swiftly denied any contact with my dear sweet Rikki for the next two years. Then when I was placed into supervised visits “SAFE VISIT” of TOPEKA—they were arm guard—hence began the next decade of our lives. When I was able to see her it was through safe visits only. The cost was excruciating, the time was only an hour—we could not hug we could not talk about anything past dull, how’s school etc. And never never about why we were even there, why mom and daughter could not even see each other in the park, outside or at home, or go anywhere.
We remained confined to a 10’ x 10’ room with 1 monitor, 1 supervisor, 1 armed Shawnee county sheriff guard – all within arm distance - the monitor wrote down everything we said - everything we did. They even would stop us when we would talk to fast, so they could catch up.
I am sorry Rikki. (of course- I am not to have access to these reports) I do have some reports that they sent to the court or to the guardian ad litem. Not all mind you but some. See here: SAFE VISIT REPORTS & MEMOS
I am brought back to present day, the sun warm on my legs. The cool morning air of a Kansas summer. A life time ago. I have no contact with Rikki. Its been more that a year and a half since I last talked to or saw her. I have always been able to follow her cyber prints. But they ceased a month ago. No one knows where she is—dad will not report her missing. He is dad after all—still with his child’s coffin and hunting rifle on the wall. No one sees a problem with this.
Where are you baby? I pray you are safe, I pray you are alive.
There have been no unidentified bodies in the 100 mile radius fitting her description. ‘whew’.
Since I am a nobody the police will not help inform me of her whereabouts—after all dad a snitch for the police has just helped to ‘bag’ a 60 person felony drug bust—so they are really protecting him. –as usual.
[Leaving The war Zone – A Battered Mother’s Memoirs For Her Daughter] Claudine Dombrowski
I Too Have A Dream. That All Battered Mothers and Their Children Can One day Be Free.
Every MLK Day, I always think of this snippet of Dr. Martin Luther King. Freedom, humanity, hope, the great struggle and ultimate revolution and victory. Wow what a wonderful concept.
“I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal."
All over the Nation Battered Mothers and Their Children remain enslaved. We ARE NOT FREE. We have never have been free. We are being murdered, our children murdered at pandemic proportions. We remain tortured if we survive.
MLK didn't stand up for the Black woman and her children, he stood up for the black man. However, great was the cause.
Gandhi (and I am a great fan of his quotes) the same. They stood up for the India ‘Man’, not India’s women and children. However, great was the cause.
Women and children all over the world remain ‘owned’ remain enslaved by patriarchy, father rule sometimes known as fathers rights. Just ask any battered mother. When they thought they had the ‘human right’ to protect herself and her children from violence, well, they do not. And, her children like has been for over four thousand years - are taken from her with the blessings of whatever authority that be in place, and given to the abuser, the father, the slave master.
He who has the right to beat, abuse, maim and kill. (e.g. Topeka Decriminalizing Domestic Violence) This STILL Remains. In Fact as a result, Violent Crime has escalated out of control, not only to just women and children, but to the entire community, because you see when we as a society allow our families to be killed and tortured, we allow it to happen to our communities. Everything starts at home folks.
Did you know that the Leading Cause of Death to Mothers is Father Violence?
On this day, I ask each one of you to look around you, the world quite simply would cease to exist with out ‘mother’. Mother is honorable, Mother is the soul of humanity. Mother gives freely, there is no need to continue to oppress her.
“ I Too Have a Dream…… That All Mothers And Their Children Can One Day Be Free”
Full Text of speech here.
I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal."
I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood.
I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a state sweltering with the heat of injustice, sweltering with the heat of oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice.
I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.
I have a dream today.
I have a dream that one day, down in Alabama, with its vicious racists, with its governor having his lips dripping with the words of interposition and nullification; one day right there in Alabama, little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls as sisters and brothers.
I have a dream today.
I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight, and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed, and all flesh shall see it together.
This is our hope. This is the faith that I go back to the South with. With this faith we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope. With this faith we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood. With this faith we will be able to work together, to pray together, to struggle together, to go to jail together, to stand up for freedom together, knowing that we will be free one day.
This will be the day when all of God's children will be able to sing with a new meaning, "My country, 'tis of thee, sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing. Land where my fathers died, land of the pilgrim's pride, from every mountainside, let freedom ring."
Family Court -- Unconstitutional Judicial Gag Orders - justice's posterous
Over the past decade, family court judges routinely have uttered broader and broader gag orders, forbidding parents in custody battles from talking or writing about their cases. The pretext for these orders is that they are needed for the protection of the child. Nevertheless, it's suspected that more often they are prompted by embarrassed officials who dislike scrutiny and criticism by internet bloggers in the wake of burgeoning out-of-control shoot-from-the-hip "therapeutic jurisprudence" in the family courts. The stated child protection rationale is specious because defamation, obscenity, violations of privacy, harassment, and other unprotected speech appropriately are addressed by the law after the fact when actual or potentially harmful speech can be specifically identified.
These orders are illegal under the First Amendment as violations of the constitutional prohibition against prior restraint. Now one mother, Faith Torres, has contacted the American Civil Liberties Union because of a gag order entered in her case by Judge Debra DeSegna in Providence, Rhode Island, July 29, at the request of the Rhode Island Department of Children, Youth and Families. Steven Brown, executive director of the ACLU's Rhode Island affiliate, called the order a "blatant violation of the First Amendment." Let's see some federal lawsuits. http://newsblog.projo.com/2010/08/judge-bars-ri-mother-from-talk.html
Live Stream: The Ninth Annual ‘Battered Mothers Custody Conference’ Begins Tonight Jan 6, 7 & 8th, Albany, NY
Battered Women, Abused Children, and Child Custody: "A National Crisis"
The Ninth Annual Battered Mothers Custody Conference:
BMCC IX, January 6th, 7th, and 8th, 2012
Friday evening through Sunday
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You can watch the Conference live stream beginning tonight at 7 PM EST here: http://www.ustream.tv/channel/the-ninth-battered-mothers-custody-conference *Updated Conference Schedule * Presenters
There is a crisis in our nation's family courts. Judges are awarding child custody to abusers and pedophiles and punishing the safe parent who tries to protect the children from harm. All Over America Battered Women Are Loosing Custody of Their Children To The Batterers When They Try To Leave To Protect Their Self And Their Children From Further Abuse. The Family Courts Are Routinely Giving Child Custody To Batterers And Pedophiles And Completely Separating The Mother From Her Child(ren).
About The Conference: Battered Mothers Custody Conference The Conference includes presentations, round-table discussions, and question & answer sessions with nationally distinguished professionals whose work is ...
- Home Co-Sponsors Support the Conference Seminar Materials Silent Auction
- The Conference in PBS' Film: Breaking the Silence Children's Stories
- The Courageous Kids Network
- Add your child's hand prints to the Children Taken by the Family Courts Hand Prints Project
- Contribute a panel to the "Children Taken by the Family Courts Community Quilt"
- Center for Judicial Excellence: Family Court Crisis Film and Photo Exhibit
Battered Mothers Custody Conference Interviews
[IMPORTANT: The following audiovisual piece includes real-life interviews featuring disturbing verbal content and statements on child abuse and domestic violence. Viewer discretion is advised.] Prof. Garland Waller produced "Small Justice: Little Justice in America's Family Courts" which is an independent documentary that explores the relationship between domestic violence, child sexual abuse and custody laws in America. To learn more about the stories of the women seen in this 10 minute clip, please go to http://batteredmotherscustodyconferen...Jessie Beers Altman, a graduate student in the College of Communication, was in charge of editing this video.For more information of Boston University's Department of Film and Television at the College of Communication, visit: http://www.bu.edu/com/ft
Now Available: Domestic Violence, Abuse, and Child Custody: Legal Strategies and Policy Issues Edited by Mo Therese Hannah, Ph.D. and Barry Goldstein, J.D.
Susan Murphy Milano Zeus Radio:
Protective Mothers and Custody Guests Barry Goldstein and Dr. Mo Hannah 1-5-2012
Both guests are battered women and custody experts and advocates, and they are the editors of the book “Domestic Violence, Abuse and Child Custody”, an in-depth look at domestic violence, child custody, abusers, and our court system. Their research will be presented at the Ninth Annual Battered Mothers Custody Conference in Albany, NY (January 2012). Barry Goldstein is an attorney, teacher, author and advocate for women abused by their partner (and too often the courts). Dr. Mo Hannah is an Associate Professor of Psychology at Siena College and has focused her interest in abusive dynamics and their impact on interpersonal relationships and in forensic psychology. (Read More)
- www.DocumentTheAbuse.com
- www.TheLizLibrary.org
- www.AmericanMothersPoliticalParty.org
- www.LeadershipCouncil.org
- Breaking The Silence Children’s Stories
- Monsters In the Closet - Domestic Violence From a Child's View
- U. S. Department of Justice v. Custody Court System
- One More Battleground: Domestic Violence, Child Custody, and the Batterers’ Relentless Pursuit of their Victims Through the Courts
- WHEN BATTERED WOMEN LOSE CUSTODY: Dangerous Parents or Systems Failure?
- Dear Custody Court Judge: EXTREME CUSTODY DECISIONS THAT RISK LIVES
- Mothers On Trial: The Battle for Children and Custody. Motherhood Under Siege
Mothers File International Petition To Inter American Commission On Human Rights
Full Text of IACHR Petition. On May 11, just before Mother’s Day weekend, ten mothers, one victimized child, now an adult, and twelve leading national organizations filed a complaint against the United States with the Inter American Commission on Human Rights. Their petition claims that U.S. courts, by frequently awarding child custody to abusers and child molesters, has failed to protect the life, liberties, security and other human rights of abused mothers and their children. More http://www.stopfamilyviolence.org/info/custody-abuse/legal-documents/petition-to-inter-american-commission-on-human-rights
NATIONAL DOCUMENTARIES ON THE CRISIS IN FAMILY COURTS
Click the image or the link for the Entire Documentaries
Family Court Crisis; Our Children at Risk 2008 Family Law Documentaryby the Center For Judicial Excellence | by Tatge/Lasseur Productions and Connecticut Public Television |
Faces of the Family Court Crisisby James Hall Photography | Domestic Violence Continued in Contested Child Custody |
Parental Alienation: What This Phoney Syndrome Does in Custody Battles Why More Fathers Are Able to Yank Children Away from Their Mothers Legally
There are many instances that I could cite here where physically and sexually abusive fathers have gained custody of the children in custody battles, but instead I will list only a few of the more heinous crimes done to these children legally in divorce court. Sure fathers have rights to the children too but what about in these cases where the children are harmed? Does that not effectively prove to the court that they are unfit? Do these fathers still deserve visitation with these innocent, traumatized children? If you had been raped repeatedly as a child, can you imagine a judge forcing you to visit with the person who hurt you?
Father X was furious when Mother X filed for divorce. The judge forced the mother to take the kids for visitation anyway. Father X had made threats in court but the judge would not relent. Mother X came back to get the children and found them hanging by a home-made noose. The children survived barely. The judge in the case placed the mother in jail for refusing to allow any more visitation. The father eventually did go to jail for attempted murder but only after a year fighting for custody of the children.
Father X was recorded threatening to kidnap the children when he was allowed visitation. The mother would never see her children again. This was played for the judge in divorce court. The judge told the mother that if she did not allow visitation, she would go to jail. An arrest warrant was placed for the mother but she went through criminal court to have the father arrested for threats made against her children.
Father X raped his young teen daughter. Mother X refused to allow more visitation. The father cited parental alienation as the reason for the claims against him. He won custody and the mother is still fighting for her daughter.
There are websites that tell how fathers win custody of their children through citing parental alienation although they have physically and sexually harmed their children. Manuals are sold online to help fathers win custody or visitation of these children. Yanking even breastfed infants away from their mothers. Step by step directions on how to win in custody battles for fathers who have never been involved with the children. Children who never even saw their father before are being sent to a stranger's house basically. Can you imagine how horrifying and traumatizing this would be for a small child? Typically mothers do not fight in court for no visitation unless there is a good reason. Mothers who trust fathers to take good care of the children will not resist a visitation schedule. Mothers who have any qualms about it should be listened to by the courts. Mothers' instincts come into play here as well.
Small children need stability. Why judges do not take this into consideration is a puzzle to me. How they allow fathers who have never cared for a child before to take over full custody is beyond my comprehension. If a parent has been the full time caregiver, why would a judge change this? Parental alienation. A made-up term supposedly meaning that the mother has turned the children against their father. Strangely most mothers would never even speak to their children about grown-up issues such as an unfit father. They don't need to do that, these children know that their father is a stranger to them. They know when they have been abused. If a child is refusing to go on visitation, the judge should take a closer look as to why. Of course the father's rights advocates blame the mother, hence "parental alienation" claims.
If a child is alienated from their father, it could be for good reason and have nothing to do with the mother at all. This is centered more around mothers as it is rare that a father will be a full time caregiver. Usually it is the mother doing all of the caregiving while the father works. There are many reasons for this happening...for fathers to get custody and liberal visitation although there are health and safety concerns for the children. Most judges are men and side with the fathers. The woman's attorney is a cheap one as the mother can't afford a better attorney. The men's attorneys are highly paid attorneys, fathers are the breadwinners in most all cases. So mothers start out lower on the totem pole. The judge is already against her and the father has the better attorney. The deck is stacked against her. This isn't only about mothers though. It is about protecting our children from harm.
Divorce is not painful in and of itself. The pain for children comes from being torn away from their homes, away from their mothers. The children stop trusting adults when they are forced to go with an abusive parent. The judge ordered it after all, the mother didn't stop it, and the father wasn't placed in jail where he belongs. The harrassment of mothers needs to stop in family court. The traumatizing of children needs to stop in family courts around the United States. It is never in a child's best interests to be sent with an abusive father or a total stranger whichever the case may be. Judges need to look up and pay attention during custody disputes. Children of divorce depend on them to make the right decisions.
Published by Carolyn Foster